Second Anniversary

Wow, this second year of marriage has been so different than our first. I don't know how love grows and mellows or what makes it do that, but the frenetic pace of year one slowed down this year, and many of our newlywed complaints and problems dissipated as we learned how to better live alongside each other. You finished graduate school and we began to grow our family. You've become the chef in our family, and you regularly make us dinner. You've also turned in to quite the baker. I feel like this is the trade-off, as I am the chief laundry officer.

You have always been my serious husband, and this year, as you've grown from student to non-student, you've become more serious and sometimes your worry makes your face look ashen. I know why you worry and I wish you didn't, but I am even thankful for that, because the reasons you worry are because you love your little family and want to take care of us in the best way you can. And when you're happy, your joy is palpable, and you are one of the most genuinely glad people I've ever met.

I am looking forward to journeying in to this next year and watching you grow from husband to husband and father. You are so eager to meet this little baby boy that I can't even believe it. I know you can't wait until he can play basketball or catch with you.  I can't wait to see you teach him things that bring him joy and show him how to love life as a child and grow in to a man. He couldn't have a better example for that.

I don't think this year was what we expected it to be, for better and, sometimes, for worse. I don't mind not knowing, though, because I know you are there to hold my hand as we figure it out together. You are my favorite person in this world, and I am so proud to be your wife and best friend.

Please don't stop dreaming your big dreams. And I won't stop dreaming mine. I can't wait for the next year, and the next 50.

Late Night TV part two.

Aaron wrote a post earlier this week about the issue of having a TV in our bedroom. This is my side of the story.


First of all, I have to clarify that I have gone to bed at 8 p.m. maybe one time in my entire adult life, and I generally average going to bed around 10-10:30. Truthfully, I would love to be in bed by 9:30 every night, but that doesn't happen often. I think Aaron has a warped view of what time I really go to bed because he's been on set for so many nights for so long. 


So, no, we don't have a TV in our bedroom, and yes, I prefer it that way. I would stay awake every night just to see what was going on on the screen if we had a TV. Growing up, my parents set the sleep timer every night on their TV, and I have read several articles linking it to sleep debt, sickness, etc. I don't know if that's true, as both of my parents never showed those signs, but I'm willing to bet it is. I don't even like having my cell phone in my room... it's that distracting to me. 

And yet, sometimes I get that urge to have a TV in our room. Granted, we have three channels, so our options would be limited to our antenna, but I would like to spend that time with Aaron, even if it means watching the NBA finals or hockey. I feel like our time together is so limited as it is, and I hate sacrificing time together, even if it's just being in separate rooms. Aaron always says that I should just stay awake, and this is pretty funny to both of us... as he and my former roommates can attest to, I'm practically narcoleptic past 10 p.m., and I end up in a really bad mood if I fall asleep on our really uncomfortable couch.

I think it's funny that Aaron said he likes having a TV in his bedroom when he stays in hotels. I'm not sure if he had a TV in his bedroom growing up, but I did. If you know my family and parents at all, this probably shocks you (they were the strictest parents EVER!), but they won a blue RCA TV at a silent auction and gave it to me for my birthday. Totally not expected and not something I really even wanted, but it was blue and seemed really cool at the time. Truth be told, I watched that TV about 10 times over the course of high school. I absolutely never watched it while I was trying to fall asleep, because having that TV on was the most obnoxious thing possible when I was trying to sleep. I'd fall half asleep and then wake up, startled by noise, so I just decided it'd be better off to get rid of the thing. 

Another aspect to this might be that my family is not much of a TV watching family, whereas Aaron's is. This has been a very different experience for us, as I feel like watching TV is a waste of time, but Aaron doesn't necessarily. Maybe it's the fact that, growing up in the Midwest, there wasn't a whole lot to do outside in the middle of winter, so they watched TV or movies. I'm not sure, and I'm also not sure I agree with that. But, for us and our marriage, I think not having unlimited access (aka having only three channels) has been very helpful in that aspect. 

But one thing I really would like? Having a TV to watch in the morning while getting ready for work. I always loved going in my parents' room in the morning and listening to the news and Imus in the Morning with my dad. Yes, he watched Imus...

Ultimately, I don't know where I stand on the TV issue. Maybe the answer is to get better living room furniture so we can both actually relax and watch TV and movies in the living room at the same time instead. 

What do you guys think? TV in the bedroom...yea or nay? Why?

Coming up next week: the great thunderstorm/white noise machine debate of 2010-2011...

07MTH [on encouragement]

Today was the first day of O7MTH "The Dancer" and already I can tell it's going to be a long six days. Aaron is the director of photography (DP) on this show, directed by his good friend Jamie. Aaron was DP on Jamie's D2 cycle film, "The Dreamer," as well. One thing I have noticed about collaboration with Aaron that I don't necessarily see as his wife is how encouraging he is to the people he's working with/for. I overheard him talking with the director, and it was one of those moments when I was really proud to be married to him. He can be a rock and an anchor when one is needed, and he is an effortless encourager. I respect this a lot because I can listen, but I feel I am a very poor encourager. Anyway, I thought it was cool to hear the conversation, and afterward I told Aaron how I thought he was a good encourager and he laughed at me. I told him I wasn't joking, and I don't get to hear him encourage too often, and I just liked him more and more.

He said I didn't need the encouragement because I was strong, and I thought that was very interesting. I don't know if strong is the right word, but I understand where he is coming from. I prefer holding out and giving praise to encouragement, and he knows that, so his relationship with me is based on a lot more "you did a good job" and "I'm proud of you" than "you can do it." In fact, for me, sometimes an encouraging thought is more of a reminder of a job that's not done than it is a spur to finish it. I initially felt the same way about him, but now I'm seeing that isn't exactly true, and a lot of tender spots in our relationship might be made less tricky by my recognizing the necessity of encouragement and a good word or action to push him along and through. This wouldn't be effective with me, but I can see how he is soothed by this.

Sometimes these little gems are a lot less obvious than I would think. I wouldn't ever have known our distinct encouragement vs. praise choices if our conversation last night hadn't taken place.

Splitting Holidays

Splitting holidays is not my favorite thing. Fortunately, I think this year we've managed to allocate an equal amount of time to both sides of the family. You'd think it'd be as easy as dividing an equal amount of days between the two, but with my husband, there's an algorithm that takes into consideration cumulative time spent versus cumulative holiday time spent together and assigns greater value to the holiday portion. Apparently currency of time spent with family in general has less value than time spent with family during holidays, thus, Thanksgiving 2010 rendered the Anderson side over allocated in holiday time spent, despite travelling that very next weekend to see the Nix side. My argument was that this second trip counted as holiday time because two birthdays (one of which was Aaron's) and a Husker game count as holidays to my husband. Don't worry, we didn't fight that much about it.

Our proposal, part 1.

Aaron and I will celebrate our first wedding anniversary this month, and I have never recorded parts of our story. As I recall them and write them down, I thought I would post edits of them here so you all can read along, too. I hope you enjoy!


We had been to look at rings several times, and he had a clear idea of what I liked. He told me that there's no way he'd ask before he finished his undergraduate degree, and that I'd have to be content with that. I sighed, wondering why we'd looked already if he wasn't going to ask for another half year. Was he crazy, stringing me along like that?

It was mid-sixties, unseasonably warm for the first week of February in Nebraska, and early in the week I mentioned that if the weather held up we should do something outside. Maybe drive out to Branched Oak Lake. Definitely, he said, and we made a date.

The week went by, and the forecast held out. I knew he told me there was no way he would propose, but something inside me told me differently. I paced through my apartment, telling my roommates that I didn't want to sound crazy, but I really thought he might ask me that night. They smiled, not knowing for sure what to say. My friend Jessie called me and asked if I was busy that evening. I told her that I thought Aaron was going to propose. She asked if I was joking, and I said I didn't know. And I really didn't.

I remember getting ready for that night. I wore my favorite perfectly worn jeans and a pullover that I loved. My hair was in a ponytail, and I wore the pearl earrings he bought me for Christmas. I was nervous and had Bailey's before he picked me up – my former roommates still joke about that. 

The drive out to Branched Oak Lake is about 15 minutes from campus down country roads. I don't remember Aaron being especially nervous, but I do remember that as we came to the four-way stop where Branched Oak Lake road meets the highway, we came upon a wreck and Aaron was very, very concerned about whether or not the road was closed. The wreck was minor, but it blocked both lanes of traffic on the country road, and so I was surprised with how upset Aaron seemed about the wreck. Little did I know that was the only way to the lake, and if the road was blocked, his perfectly planned engagement would have to be postponed.

Fortuitously, just as we approached the four-way stop, the police car, wrecker and fire truck moved into the opposite lane and headed back toward Lincoln. We watched the beginning of the sunset from the fields, gold flecks of the sun reflected up with a background of black evergreens.

We got to the lake and parked at the edge of the pier where we first met and began walking out to the jetty. It was cold and the wind was blowing. My hands were freezing because I forgot gloves. My lips were chapped. I followed Aaron and watched his silhouette against the brilliant colors of the sunset. It's funny that one of the things I remember the most is the way Aaron's black air was windswept against the sky. It looked like the naked branches in the frozen lake. I hope I never forget that memory. 

The jetty goes from gravel to rocks about midway, and the strong wind made us slow down as we walked toward water's edge. Aaron was still walking ahead of me when he stopped, turned around and said my name. I looked at him, and heard him repeating my name. My heart began to flutter as he reached in his coat pocket. 

Was this really happening? 

From here, I really don't remember what happened. I remember only feeling outside of my body, truly. I heard what Aaron was saying, and I saw him get down on his knee and the tears forming in his eyes. I don't know what he said before he asked me if I would be his wife, but I remember saying "of course," and watching the tears fall down his face. He held the ring box open for what felt like minutes but was probably only 20 seconds, and I pointed to the ring and he laughed and cried and took the ring out and asked me which finger it went on. His fingers were freezing and his teeth were chattering. His eyes changed to the happiest smile I've seen. He looked relieved. 

 We stayed on the jetty and watched the sun set into the cold Nebraska winter. It was the most incredible colors. 

All I remember is overwhelming happiness. I was completely surprised, and I had guessed it all along. 

to be continued.

Living Room renovations part 1 - The Dark Ages

After four paint colors, I have finally decided to go with my initial instinct. Funny how that happens, huh? When we moved in to our apartment, each room was painted the standard-issue “apartment tan.” Since then I have painted our bedroom and the living area.

The process for choosing a color for the living room has been difficult for this indecisive girl. I initially laid out my ideal plan for the room, furniture placement and all, which you can read about here. The furniture is still the same as it is in that post, but we have sold the love seat and are hoping to sell the pine entertainment center – we call it The Alamo – soon. Wish us good luck that someone will be searching Craigslist for one!

Below is the color our living room/kitchen/dining area were painted before we moved in – the typical apartment tan.  One thing we didn’t really consider when we moved was the positioning of our furniture in the apartment. With the sale of the love seat, our living room feels wider, but it’s at an in-between size that makes it a little precarious. It is definitely something we’ll take more seriously in the next place we live; we were so eager to get the heck out of the old apartment that we were perhaps a bit hasty in the choice of the unit we are currently renting.

Here are some pictures of the next layer of paint. It was Behr’s color-matched version of Benjamin Moore’s Kona. I was impressed at how precise the color match turned out, and I think if our living room was a bit bigger and an enclosed space (meaning it wasn’t open to the kitchen), I would have loved it. I did not paint all of the walls, which was totally an eyesore, but from the beginning I felt non-committal to the color.  Yikes, look at that splotchy paint... I knew it wouldn't stay this color for long (OK, long is relative, it was painted in May and I FINALLY repainted in September!).

Here you can see how enthused Aaron was about repainting it all with me.Please pardon the mess... we moved most of the stuff in the living room to the middle of the room so we could work around the sides and not clear out the room completely. In the picture below, you can also see our halloween mantle! Like I said, we didn't get to this project until September.

As you can tell from the picture below, I removed one set of cabinet doors, I had a hare-brained scheme to paint the cabinets white to match the trim, or try out open shelving in the kitchen, but I decided against both, citing cost and how long we’ll be living here as reasons to just deal with it. But you never know until you try, right? You can also see the color I tested above the stove, which was actually a color we did not choose for our bedroom. It was a little too loud for our tastes. Again, never know what it looks like until it's on the walls!

You might also notice the hack-job I did on the trim painting. My poor daddy, who is a perfectionist by nature and a home remodeling expert (thus a fantastic painter) would be so embarrassed if he saw these pictures, but, rest assured, I have the trim paint and will make it right. In the picture below you can actually see the paint color we chose for living room and kitchen, Behr's Paint and Primer in one in Vast Desert... Aaron tested the paint on the side of the faux bar. 

Isn't he a happy little helper? Ha! He actually didn't mind too much. Please pardon the mess you see through the door right behind him - that is Aaron's office AKA the room I never go in AKA where we will put you if you come to visit us. 

Coming up later this week, the process of painting our living room! 

Toby Toes

Little Toby is doing quite well at home. He's taken to sleeping on my head each night and providing Olive a constant source of consternation as the subject of his sneak attacks. He is a chunk, but still small and easy to carry around. I forgot how sweet it is to hold snoozy kittens who love to curl up in your arms.

We've been praying for more fall-like temperatures, but I'm not too disappointed, because Saturday I finally was able to go out and lie by the pool for a few hours. It sounds crazy, but this Florida summer was just too hot and humid for me to spend poolside like I envisioned. Now, beachside might have been different, but contrary to popular belief, there are no beaches close to Tally Town, but we hope to swing by the Emerald Coast when Aaron's parents come through Florida next month.

Life around the Rog Mahal has been lovely - and quiet - lately. Aaron continues to further develop his thesis film idea, and is often home before I am on the weeknights, which means he is preparing dinner as I walk in the door. Expected? No. Appreciated? You bet. It's so nice of him to do that, and it really expedites the process because we don't have to go back-and-forth about what we are hungry for. I've also been decorating for fall and Halloween, and I'll post some pictures of what I've done soon. It's amazing what things we have sitting around the house can be repurposed as, and I had a lot of fun scheming up ideas before Saturday's Nebraska win over the Washington Huskies.

{photo: The University of Nebraska Alumni Association}

I kept telling Aaron how much I wanted to be in Seattle for that game - I've never been to the Pacific Northwest, and I. want. to. go. soon! Who knows, maybe Aaron will find a job in the Vancouver film industry and we'll be close enough to Oregon, Washington and Alaska to not only cross them from my states list, but to enjoy the natural beauty of the region. I looooved seeing the boats ferry Husker fans across the lake to the stadium... I think Aaron was pretty tired of me telling him how much I wanted to go one day. Just gotta make sure he knows that I really mean it, right?

I'll leave you with a few of my favorite images scoured around the web from Alaska, Washington and Oregon. If you've been, what have you loved about this area of our country? What would you recommend doing and seeing?

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Scenes from a marriage:
A: I'm glad I married you and no one else. But you probably can't say that about me.
E: I'm glad I married you. I can't imagine being married to anyone else.
A: BUT YOU PROBABLY COULD! YOU'D LOVE TO BE MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE AND YOU WOULD TORTURE THEM! YOU'D BE HAPPY WITH SOMEONE ELSE IF THEY HAD LOTS OF MONEY!
(sigh).

This coming from the same guy who watched this commercial and, the entire time, squawked "all the polar bear wants is a hug!"

But I digress.

Sept. 5, 2010 - Orlando, Fla.

So, what have you all been up to lately? Honestly, I feel like I've been playing catch up all week. The long weekend was an absolute godsend, but it passed way too quickly. Aaron and I went to visit his brother and sister-in-law in Orlando, where they are currently on vacation.

It's been so nice having Aaron at home in the evenings and on weekends. This semester is nothing like the previous fall, winter and summer semesters, when his schedule was essentially 24/7. Lately, Aaron has been at home preparing for pre-production, which means he can help prepare dinner. It's awesome to walk into our home and find out he is already preparing dinner for the evening. I am blessed by this period in our lives of him being home so frequently.

Along with this newfound sense of marriedness, however, comes the learning curve. We got married in late December, and by January 3 Aaron was on Thesis production schedule for the now-graduated MFA second years. He continued this schedule for five or so months, with an occasional day off, often on a Wednesday, when we weren't able to spend the day together. Then, beginning mid-May until the beginning of August, Aaron began production cycle for his class' own D2 (directing 2) films, keeping that same intense (understatement of the year) cycle.

In August, we celebrated the end of production cycle with D2 and thesis screenings, a wedding and a short trip to Nebraska for our friends' wedding and to Aaron's hometown. Once we returned from the latter trip, we settled in to a routine. This was the first time in eight months that we spent "quantity time" together, and so it has been only recently that I've really felt married. For instance, it has taken me about nine months to realize that Aaron doesn't close the shower curtain when he is done showering - a pet peeve of mine. We've had to adjust to the quirks we just didn't know about each other after nine months of marriage. I laugh because I often tell people we've been married nine months going on three weeks. I don't mind the curve, though. Recently, I looked down at my phone to make a call to Aaron and pressed the speed dial for "home," not immediately recognizing that the "home" number my phone is still programmed to is my parents' home phone. At that moment, I felt married, not because my "home" had physically changed, but because, after what has been at times a really tough period in our lives, I had subconsciously changed my "home" to be Aaron.

Aside from my broken computer, I have fallen off the blog train because I want to cherish the time we have before thesis really gets going and I am a film school widow again. I'm sure it will fly by...

P.S. - I've finally configured the Flickr widget for the blog. Long story short, I forgot the username to my old Flickr account and can't access it any longer, so I made a new account. If you're following along in a reader, click to the site and you'll notice that in the sidebar there is a box to my new, improved Flickr account. I plan on updating it frequently, so check back often. The link to my new account is flickr.com/emnix.

You'll also notice that the blog template-of-old has been replaced, temporarily, until the one in progress is finished. I know it wasn't necessary, but I just couldn't stand the messed-up sizing of my old template, even though it was what I was used to, and, if I could have fixed the sizing, preferred to stay with. Please bear with me until it's all done!

Thank you guys, as always, for reading.