Today was the first day of O7MTH "The Dancer" and already I can tell it's going to be a long six days. Aaron is the director of photography (DP) on this show, directed by his good friend Jamie. Aaron was DP on Jamie's D2 cycle film, "The Dreamer," as well. One thing I have noticed about collaboration with Aaron that I don't necessarily see as his wife is how encouraging he is to the people he's working with/for. I overheard him talking with the director, and it was one of those moments when I was really proud to be married to him. He can be a rock and an anchor when one is needed, and he is an effortless encourager. I respect this a lot because I can listen, but I feel I am a very poor encourager. Anyway, I thought it was cool to hear the conversation, and afterward I told Aaron how I thought he was a good encourager and he laughed at me. I told him I wasn't joking, and I don't get to hear him encourage too often, and I just liked him more and more.
He said I didn't need the encouragement because I was strong, and I thought that was very interesting. I don't know if strong is the right word, but I understand where he is coming from. I prefer holding out and giving praise to encouragement, and he knows that, so his relationship with me is based on a lot more "you did a good job" and "I'm proud of you" than "you can do it." In fact, for me, sometimes an encouraging thought is more of a reminder of a job that's not done than it is a spur to finish it. I initially felt the same way about him, but now I'm seeing that isn't exactly true, and a lot of tender spots in our relationship might be made less tricky by my recognizing the necessity of encouragement and a good word or action to push him along and through. This wouldn't be effective with me, but I can see how he is soothed by this.
Sometimes these little gems are a lot less obvious than I would think. I wouldn't ever have known our distinct encouragement vs. praise choices if our conversation last night hadn't taken place.