Last Monday, I had an ultrasound to determine more about a lump I found. This afternoon, the radiologist's office called me and told me the radiologist wants me to come in for another test. Thursday I am going in for a biopsy to determine whether the nodule is benign or otherwise. Based on those results, which the office said I should have on Friday, I will go to a surgery consultation next week to determine the next steps.
I feel weird about posting this here. But I also feel that if recording this part of my journey will provide comfort or familiarity or help to another woman who stumbles upon my little blog and happens to be in a similar situation, then it's worth it. I have felt overwhelming fear and anxiety throughout the past two and a half weeks, mostly because I feel helpless. I can't make the healthcare system move faster. I can't read ultrasounds, and I can't schedule consultations. All I can do is wait for any sort of news. I have a new and profound empathy for people who have to deal with this routinely, because it is emotionally and physically exhausting to wait.
But for now, that is all I can do, and I'm trying to find the best way to do that. Admittedly, I am not very good at it. I cut out the verse below and taped it to my computer monitor, and it's served as a good reminder and provided something to focus on when I get overwhelmed.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)I am praying that the results of the biopsy are good and that the doctor will be able to read them and get them to me quickly. The nurse I spoke with today told me not to worry, because she said the radiologist thinks this is a hormone-induced benign nodule that has appeared because of the pregnancy. She said test results usually come back by the next day, and although I'm skeptical, I really want to believe that I will know by Friday.
So, ultimately, I'm a little more encouraged than I have been all week. I appreciate all of your prayers more than you know, so thank you, friends! I would appreciate your continued prayers, too!
3 comments:
This is a wonderful scripture! I am praying for a benign biopsy and good news by Friday. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
God is in control. "Be still..."
~Dara
Emily, you are so special to so many including our Heavenly Father....he sees you and I do not know why and so badly we want to understand and our brains just can not conceive of His plans for us....His plans are for good to give us Hope....although I struggle in this place also....we must continue to walk by faith because by His Grace we are saved.....bring Him everything in prayer talk to Him outloud with Aaron this is one of the most intimate moments as a couple...is humbly telling Our Father how much we don't know and how much we need Him....as Lord over our lives....my heart goes out and our prayers go up for the three of you and we must try not to fear the evil one....I speak nothing that we as a couple are not working on also....though our walks may be different and our circumstances our battle is the same...we love you Emily you are not alone!
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