1, 2, 3, 4

Today we've been married for four months. It feels like four days and four lifetimes all at once. Here are four prominent memories and pertinent thoughts on our first four months as husband and wife:

• We slept on a full mattress that was about 15 years old for our first two months of marriage. It's now in our guest bedroom. The other night, when our shower wouldn't turn off in our bedroom, I couldn't sleep. We had gotten into a pretty mean argument the night before, and Aaron was sleeping in the guest bedroom, so I had to choose between being stubborn and staying in the waterfall room or putting aside some of my pride, going to the guest bedroom, waking Aaron up and asking him if I could sleep with him in the old bed. He's pretty quick to forgive, fortunately, so we spent the next half hour talking about the first few weeks of being married and remembering uncomfortably sleeping on that bed in our old apartment. It's nice to revisit memories like that, especially when you know you can sleep in your nice, new mattress again soon.

{honeymoon- january 2010}

• We still have a lot of issues that we haven't completely worked out. We read a few books before our marriage ceremony that helped us identify the things we thought might be sticking points, and we did sort through some things. But "preventative maintenance" hasn't worked on everything, and contrary to what any book says, hashing out those disagreements and not solving anything instead of trying to pretend has been an honest and good part of our relationship. We've fought over washing dishes, family issues, Aaron's awful schedule, money and paint colors, and guess what? It's OK. We're OK.

{disney world- february 2010}

• Listen to advice, but don't believe that everything everyone tells you is what is necessarily what's best for you. We love and appreciate what we've learned from our friends and family who have healthy, thriving relationships, and at the same time, we have also learned that we have a somewhat unique situation, and we are content to learn what is best for us through experience.

{easter sunday}

• Moving away from our families has really forced us to rely on each other. I say "our" and "us," but I really mean me. Aaron was essentially isolated from everyone for a few months before we got married, and also immersed in film school culture and activities. When I moved here, I didn't have the luxury/exhaustion of graduate school activity 18 out of 24 hours a day. Certainly my job and the multiple moves have given me things to do, but not having my best friends 3 feet away from me essentially all the time was and is hard to adjust to. I don't have any friends here who are my age and in my situation but Aaron. There's an incredible amount of respect I've gained for him as I've been here and seen what he does - he is truly humble and would never honestly tell me or anyone how tough it can be - and yet he continues to be the guy I cry to, yell at, and laugh with. He makes it all look easy.

{st. george island- april 2010}